The depth of my dread for flying away a thousand miles hit me late Friday night after a dear friend's wedding (more on that later -- one of the highlights of my break!) In the epitome of overwhelmed and self-focused, I dissolved into tears on the staircase of the reception hall. Yeah, not a pretty sight lol. (Praise that my make up was water proof!)
My God is faithful. My God hears, and my God answers.
Not in the time I'd like. Or in the way I'd like. But I am confident and firm in His promises, and I have claimed a new one for myself. (I've found, in my short 18 years of living, life's circumstances gives us opportunity to claim verses for those circumstances. So, as each need arises, I tend to pick a promise and remind God of it constantly!)
In Luke 6:21, Jesus says, Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh.
Okay, Lord. I'm weeping, but I'm desperately clinging to Your promise that I will laugh.
The Holy Spirit clearly gave me Romans 12:12 to pray for this semester. "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."
That's who I want to be molded to be, pressed to be. I learned something else at the Passion conference (another highlight of my break! Any time with time to sit at Jesus' feet or time to hang out with friends is a highlight!)
In the Old Testament, when someone was anointed of God (receiving His calling, His favor), oil was poured upon them. Where did that oil come from? From pressing. Crushing. Olives first had to be pressed to expel the pure oil to anoint.
If I pray for the Lord's anointing in my life, will I not then see the pressing as an answer to that prayer? God grant me grace that I may, and thank You for hearing and for answering. I do want to be anointed. Press away.
Passion Retreat in Atlanta and Swain wedding in Greenfield, mixed in with Christmas, New Years, working, church, coffee, and sleeping made for an incredibly restful and fun break.
I had the honor of serving as a bridesmaid in Sarah and Connor's wedding, getting to witness their holy, special day from very close.
"Are you gonna cry?" I was asked.
"Nah." I said, smiling.
Would anyone like to guess how that turned out? I cried tears of joy, and tears of nostalgia for my dear friends. I love them so much!
Will this semester be easy? Probably not. (I've already lost my ID and car keys once so far. Left them at the campus coffee shop. ... Yes, that happened last semester, too.)
But "just because it isn't easy doesn't mean it isn't right."
Praise God for that!
Side note, my "box of remembrance" (where I keep all of my answered prayers) is full to overflowing, and I know that I have forgotten to write down some of my answers to prayer! Our God is so faithful, and it's through the hard times we see Him in different ways.
When doubt is sown, He's strong and relentless to uproot it.
When worry is crushing, He's faithful to bring His peace.
When sorrow is overwhelming, He's gentle to comfort.
There's no end to Him <3