Many of you know that for the missions banquet my senior year, I spoke about "open hands." Living with everything in our lives in open, vulnerable hands. The Lord may choose to take something away, or give something; either way, we are in submission to Him.
One example of this in my life was college. My junior year, the Lord impressed upon me that I should not go in to a lot of debt to go to school, as that was not honoring Him with my finances. I said okay.
Senior year came, and I realized how expensive college was. I felt it was impossible... and realized that, if God didn't supply the means, I would have to surrender my dream of school and stay at home (for at least a little while.) Open hands, I was still hoping against prayer that He would say "yes" and let me go to school.
... And He did. He said 'yes'. He opened a door, provided a scholarship, and now I sit in Texas, wanting to turn my hands upside down and empty them out.
Lord! I didn't know it'd be this hard being 1,000 miles from home! I take it back... give it back... Can't you do it again, this time in Indiana??
What a fickle, confused child that I am.
There is nothing wrong with honesty; the Lord can take it. He's not scared of your questions; your anger; your doubt; your hurt.
Jesus definitely could do it again, in Indiana. I know and believe that with all of my heart. However, I also know He could choose not to. And seriously, who am I to complain about an answered prayer, whether the answer be in the Midwest or down south?
There comes a point of acceptance. After shaking our hands, trying to free ourselves from God's pleasing and perfect (and sometimes difficult!) will, we must turn them back over, face up, in open surrender. We have to walk through the open door, that no matter how hard we yank, is not going to shut.
Or no matter how long we pace the corridor, that door is not going to open. Some things, just are.
In His graciousness, He is our constant comforter and always present helper.
Revelation 3 goes on to say, "I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name... since you have kept my command to endure patiently, I will also keep you from the hour of trial that is going to come upon the whole world to test those who live on the earth.
"I am coming soon. Hold on to what you have, so that no one will take your crown. Him who overcomes I will make a pillar in the temple of my God....I will write on him the name of my God and the name of the city of my God, the new Jerusalem, which is coming down out of heaven from my God; and I will also write on him my new name. He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches."
The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away; blessed be the name of the Lord.
(Job 1:21, paraphrase)